chicafish's Xanga

Bad News Radio

Mon, 14 Jul 2008 14:29:30 GMT

One of the things that makes me crazy about working and commuting with my dad is the horrid radio he listens to. In the car it's all fundamentalist christian talk radio all the time. I've taken to listening to my ipod because I've had just about all I can take of "Dr" James Dobson foaming at the mouth over Obama and the public school system. At the office he favors a contemporary christian station that plays the same 30 songs over and over in a never ending loop. Sadly, there is no escape from it so I clench my teeth and try to think happy thoughts as "Here I Am To Worship" plays AGAIN.

Hey Guess What?

I went to church yesterday! Thought I'd check it out. Plus my dad said we'd all go to a buffet afterwards. I am a sucker for buffet. It was sort of worth it. My dad's church service is still inhumanly long and seizure inducing with their flag waving and sequins and metallic colored streamers. Little known fact about hispanic christians: for some reason somewhere along the way, they have become convinced that they are the new jews. So there is lots of faux-jewish dancing and songs with the words "shalom" in them. Embarrassing and rather hilarious. Mazel Tov! You all look like idiots.

So in conclusion I have been mega-grumpy lately. Can you tell?

Hugz,

Janel

Long Time No Xanga

Tue, 01 Jul 2008 21:26:33 GMT

Yo.

It's been a while. Stuff has gone down, hit the fan and generally crapped out. I've been chilling at my parent's house with Amy for what? 3, 4 thousand years? No, it only FEELS like forever but in reality it's only been 3 weeks. The plan was to hang out here, save some money and let the things in general mellow out a bit. Turns out I don't dig it here at all. Like, not at all at ALL. Also it turns out the bosses from my former job want me back. Real bad. I have been buttered up but good, I asked for more money and was, in turn, offered more money. Not a bad deal all in all. There are pros, there are cons but I think I'll be heading back to good old Portland sooner rather than later. I know not everyone in my life will be thrilled with this news, sorry about that.

So that's what's up.

See ya,

Janel

Wednesday Blahs

Thu, 14 Feb 2008 03:57:53 GMT

Once again no rhyme or reason, just blather:

- We have a customer that wraps every check he sends in a piece of stationary with his store’s logo on it. Every time this happens I take the piece of blank stationary and write fake letters from the store to one of my co-workers. They usually say stuff like “you suck so hard” and “you really suck you stupid jerk” and end with “Hugs from your friends at fastlube”. I get my giggles wherever I can.
- I just found out that Oregon has a law that says every hourly employee MUST take two 10 minute breaks during his/her shift. The recommended penalty for overachievers that don’t take their 2 breaks? Termination. Chew on that delicious tidbit for a lil bit.
- Saw PS I Love You last night. Cried myself dry. Am ashamed to admit that I learned a lot about myself and how my mother’s death and my father’s lightning fast re-marriage has affected my perceptions of love and marriage. Who needs therapy when there’s romantic comedy?! Much cheaper AND you get popcorn! Daddy, I don’t know if you read this (I kind of hope not!) but get prepared for one heckofa loaded conversation! Oh, and a tip for all my single friends who are into the dudes: If the movie’s depictions of typical Irish men are accurate then you really should go there. Forget Italy or France , the good-looking, sensitive, dark-haired men are to be found in the land of the shamrock. You’re welcome.
- Contrary to what I previously believed, it IS possible design a birthday invitation online, text message on a cell phone and place an order over the phone for a Coach wallet all at the same time. Thank you, vacuous co-worker for making me feel like a second rate multitasker.
- Tomorrow is Valentines Day! I plan to celebrate by visiting my new lady-bits doctor. Nothing says “I love you” like getting your nether-regions checked out by a medical professional! I can’t wait!

Hugs,
Janel

Quick and Self Involved

Wed, 13 Feb 2008 00:37:36 GMT

Points and randomness because I just can't be buggered to put my ideas into a cohesive paragraph.

- In the middle of vacuuming, it occurred to me that when I told my sister that I really liked the name "Elyse" for her soon-to-be-real-live-baby-girl I didn't specify that I think it should be spelled with a "y". I actually picked up the phone to call her but then didn't because, weird much? I think my sister is perfectly capable of figuring out how to best spell the name of her S.T.B.R.L.B.G. God Janel. I am already an overbearing Aunt and my poor niece hasn't even left the womb.

- My favorite toilet at work was mysteriously "out of order" all day. Pretty much ruined my whole day. I am a creature of habit.

Haiku 4 U

Dollar store Mentos
Never a good idea
My molars are pwnd

Xanga I hates you
Why you gotta treat me bad?
Insults for your mom

- And speaking of moms and insults, I figured out that it's really easy to create comical new insults. Just follow the following handy-dandy formula:
"mother" + verb or noun + "er". It works a lot better if the verb or noun contains "ucker" but it's not necessary.

Examples:
mother sucker
mother trucker
mother tripper
mother kicker
mother snailer
mother frogger
mother looter
mother tooter
mother crapper
mother hat-snatcher
mother stripper
mother flipper
mother ranter
mother punter
mother pooper
mother buster

See? Good clean fun. You're welcome.

Love,
Janel

Sorrys

Tue, 12 Feb 2008 04:37:17 GMT

I haven't been paying much attention to my blogz. I just haven't really been inspired I guess. Every day is the same old same old. Mauricio and I have turned into utter bums without Amy. B.U.Ms.
I am too lazy to write a real post so a list of doo dads will have to do.

1. We've decided to take our lunch to work all this week and save a million dollars. One day down.
2. I'm going to TRY to get up earlier tomorrow and make breakfast so that I'm not starving in the morning. We'll see how THAT goes. I'm not too optimistic.
3. Amy is doing just fine. She is happy and thriving and totally bilingual. I miss her painfully so that's all I'll say about that.
4. Our cat is doing fine. She desperately needs a bath and a total body shave.
5. It's been raining. I'm at the point where I don't really notice the rain anymore but I'm starting to make plans for the summer. I vow to go to the beach this summer. Hold me to it please.
6. Never touch a hot lamp. Not even to wipe off the layer of dust you just noticed. Not even if it doesn't LOOK hot. =((((((
7. As usual xanga is being a mean mofo and won't let me upload pictures the way I want. Thanks for making me end my night on such a sour note xanga! >=((

Love,
Janel

Look!

Sun, 30 Dec 2007 06:04:51 GMT

I saw a St Bernard the other day and it let me pet it.

It's a Christmas Miracle

Tue, 25 Dec 2007 06:17:48 GMT

Xanga let me upload a picture...sort of.
Behold:

Freaking xanga. Well don't say I never gave you anything for Christmas.
I'm going to bed because if I don't Santa won't come.

Christmas hugs,
Janel

Xanga Sucks

Thu, 13 Dec 2007 05:20:36 GMT

We went to VA.
My sister got married.
I spent time with two old friends, Abi and New York. Abi was considerably nicer to me than New York was.
We left VA without Amy.
Amy went to Colombia with my grandparents to visit, learn Spanish and have mucho fun.
We are in Portland without Amy and winter has never seemed so dismal.

Xanga still won't let me upload pictures from my computer and now it's not letting me upload pictures from Mauricio's laptop either. I'm starting to think xanga may take issue with Macs? I don't even know and right now I don't feel like looking into it.

On a brighter note I won the very prestigious CEO's Choice Award. Jealous? You really shouldn't be.

Love,
Janel

Enjoy

Sun, 04 Nov 2007 23:11:45 GMT

One of the best pictures ever taken of me.

Is there anything sweeter...

Sun, 04 Nov 2007 07:15:29 GMT

than the sound of Amy snoring? It has to be one of the cutest sounds in the world. But her teeth grinding is one of the worst, ugh. So what's up guys? Hey, guess what? I'll tell you what!

#1 My job put up a new firewall a few months? Weeks? I can't remember how long ago but it blocks xanga. Diaryland, typepad and even facebook are still accesible but no xanga. They must know that I have a blog here and don't want me goofing off online. Well they can block my blog but they can't stop me from going to the bathroom and paying me for it! OHLOLOLOLOLLLLOLOLOL I GOT THEM GEWD! Ahem.

#2 Speaking of going to the bathroom I think I might be lactose intolerant. Or maybe it's just a coincidence that every time I have ice cream my stomach kicks my ass. Almost literally. It's really not cool.

#3 I can't upload pictures from this computer. It really cheeses me off because we got Amy her own camera for her birthday and her pictures are cah-ray-zay. We have 3 pictures of the toilet, 2 pictures of the cat, about 10 pictures of nothing and 3 pictures of Mauricio's butt. I really wish you could see them.

Hugs!
Janel